Brookside

So the funeral date has been set.

My sister joked on the phone to dad, asking if there’d been any Dickensian family feuds over the will. Little did she know that, that morning, Crazy Auntie had started a slanging match with her sister-in-law on the grandparents’ driveway. How very Brookside. Despite the will being negated by Grannie’s longevity, Crazy Auntie decided to have a panic that Dad had been to see the solicitors without her.

My father’s side of the family are crackers. Grandpa was the only good apple left, who had the brilliant sense of humour to laugh at their insanity.

I, thankfully, despite carrying my father’s surname, demonstrate the traits of my maternal family. Yes, I am still crackers, but in (what I would like to think is) a more positive way. I will, one day, be a casually racist cat lady.

The fact I can joke about all of this means that this post is not locked. For now, I am ok with this. I have no idea what will happen when the funeral is in my midst.

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The end?

Ex-Flatmate (The one there has been mega-drama about over the past year+) emailed last night to have a go at me for making a joke she didn’t appreciate when I was drunk at my birthday party.

My reply had been harsh, to-the-point and pretty final.

After reading the email last night, I ended up in tears on The Boy. I’ve never felt so repeatedly attacked by someone who is supposed to be a friend. I also find it hugely difficult to end a friendship… I make friends and I fiercely loyal. I take a lot of shit but always manage to remember the good and fix wounds. This, however, is one time too many and I need to practise some self-preservation.

How to walk away from a friendship:
I’ve spent so much time attempting to compose a reply to your email but… I give up, Ex-F.

Let’s be honest; you don’t like my personality, sense of humour or boyfriend. I don’t think our friendship had been particularly positive for a while and I’ve run out of energy.

I don’t think I’ll ever be quite what you’d like me to be and quite frankly, no friend has ever made so many demands for change.

I’m sure I’ll see you around, and I look forward to it. But maybe it’s time for you to accept you just don’t need or want my friendship.

Boom.

It’s not the end, of course. Both her and her boyfriend have replied… Fucking hell.

Passive Agression

I made a booboo with an Amazon order for work… I clicked too soon and managed to get three books delivered to my university address in LIVERPOOL.

The order, for 6 books, was placed with 3 companies… Two replied saying it was fine; address changed. Julie’s-bookshop… Not so helpful.

Dear Julie and Team,

On placing my order at 11:53 on 25/01/12, I realised I had made a mistake with the delivery address. However, I contacted your company at 12:36 on the same day (a mere 43 minutes later) to inform you of my error and to request delivery to a more suitable address.

In addition to the three books ordered from Julies-Bookshop, I placed orders with 2 other vendors, and sent the same message, at the same time.

Your reply:

“I am very sorry but unfortunately it is not possible to change the address for you at this stage – your order was processed early this morning, before office hours and therefore before your email was seen and it has now been packaged and is awaiting dispatch amongst a very large number of other orders.”

Their replies:

“Thank you for your email. We can confirm that we have now amended the delivery address on your book order as requested. This item will be dispatched today to the amended London delivery address.”

“I can confirm that I have now amended your delivery address thank you for your order.”

I would be most appreciative if you could let me know the following:

a) Why it took so long for my email to be picked up – was the office not open after 12:36? Do your ‘office hours’ finish at 12:30, maybe?

b) What am I supposed to do now my books have been sent to an address for which I have no access?

I know each book costs only a penny each, and so this matter is smallfry to you. However, I have a class of 30 children who are in desperate need of biographies. I am aware that it was my fault for being trigger happy with my mouse, which I feel is understandable as I am sure I am not the first to do so. In my defense, I did get in touch with your company as soon as I realised!

Please advise me on what I should now do, other than merely giving you 0 stars and nastily-worded feedback, which will probably be a mere drop in your 5 star ocean.

Many thanks, and kind regards (love to Julie!)

roseski